collective haul

Remember when I said I didn't really just want to limit myself to being just a beauty blogger? Well, that still rings true, but the rest of the posts I have coming up this week are all about makeup. Oh well.

I'll admit I haven't been buying much makeup since I've gotten a car and have to do adult things like pay for gas and car insurance, but I have been treating myself on occasion. I feel like I have a nice little assortment of goodies.

I know these first two picks might be a little controversial given the drama surrounding Kat Von D and Jeffree Star as of late, but Jeffree's liquid lipsticks are my favourite formula and I couldn't resist picking up two of the shades I'd been eyeing from his summer collection. I ordered knowing I wanted Watermelon Soda, which is a gorgeous hot coral pink. Then, I decided to pick up 714. I'd been looking at this shade since Jeffree initially launched it, but didn't get a chance to snag it. Neon. Pastel. Coral. Need I say more?

On the liquid lipstick trend, I also picked up two more of theBalm's Meet Matt(e) Hughes liquid lipsticks in the shades Devoted and Trustworthy. Devoted is a berry-toned red, and Trustworthy is a brown nude. I love both of these, but if I had to pick one, Trustworthy has been a go to lately. In addition to these, I also picked up the Meet Matt(e) Trimony palette, which is a gorgeous addition to my collection. I love a good matte palette, and this was no disappointment. The warm shades are right up my alley, and every shade is a delight.

I went to Target and picked up both of L'Oreal's Infallible foundations, both in the lightest shades. I absolutely adore the Pro-Matte foundation, and am warming up to the Pro-Glow. It's a little too dewy for my oily skin, but I'm getting there.

Lastly, I went to Sephora and only left with three things. I love their eye mask, so I picked up the Orchid variant. I haven't given it a go yet, but I'm hoping for good results. Too Cool for School recently released new variants of their Egg Cream mask, so naturally I had to pick up one. The Pore Tightening version is the one I ended up with, and I'm saving it for a really bad skin day. Here's hoping. At the cash register, I saw that they had a really nice Stila 500 Point Perk, so I picked it up. The perk contained a liquid lipstick in the shade Fiery, their mascara, liquid liner and a deluxe eyeshadow in Kitten.


why people didn't report their sexual assault


Okay, we're back with another post regarding sexual assault. Considering my last post about it, I thought that I should do a post on why some people didn't report their sexual assault. I took to Twitter, and asked for people's stories. I was absolutely overwhelmed with responses, and I couldn't believe how many of the stories were similar. All submissions are anonymous to protect those who submitted their stories.

I am going to slap a HUGE HUGE HUGE content warning on this, there are some gruesome details in this post and I don't want to upset anyone. This is merely to provide a platform for those who did not report their assault, and I want people to know why.

Most sexual assaults are never reported. One in three are reported, and of those, only one to two percent of those assailants will see jail time. 

"I didn’t report my sexual assault because it happened on holiday in Greece when I was 16. I’d never had a boyfriend and this Albanian guy who was at least 36 started paying attention to me. He bought me drinks. I felt grown up. I kept telling him I didn’t want sex but he would say things like how bad for his health it was that I turned him on with kissing then “no release” and that he didn’t believe I was a virgin. I was na├»ve. When it happened, it wasn’t violent. He didn’t hold me down, I didn’t cry out. I didn’t go back to our apartment and cry under the shower like I’d seen girls do in movies. So I figured I should have done more to stop him. That it was my responsibility to physically fight him off and as I didn’t, it was my fault. I told no one. We flew home."

" I didn't acknowledge my sexual assault for what it was until 3/4 months after it happened and now it feels too late (even though I know it isn't) and I guess I would just rather get on with processing it and moving on than dredging it back up and reliving it if that makes sense"

"Because I was drunk, I let him into my room and I didn't think it was "serious" enough - happened 4 years ago in my freshers at uni"

"I DID report the rapes that happened to me in Bulgaria by a policeman and multiple other people but the UK police didn't take it any further because different country. I wouldn't have reported it if I knew the disgrace of the police"

"The first time I was sexually assaulted I didn't even realise it. I was 13 and I wrote about it in my diary but I didn't tell anyone even as rumours of me being a "slut" circulated around school. He was my boyfriend at the time. The second time I was assaulted I was 16 and was also my boyfriend. I didnt report it because again I denied to myself that it was assault even though to be honest with you it was rape. I cried about it but I stayed with him and told myself he was a guy and was obsessed with sex and that's just what guys are like. The third time I was assaulted I laughed it off. I was working as a promo girl for a night club and we were told to dress a certain way and stand in the street late at night handing out flyers. I was 18 and I was assaulted but he was a drunk middle aged man so I pushed him away and laughed. But it wasn't funny.
There have been other times for sure - in nightclubs, at parties, even in my own home. But I always make excuses for them and brush it off and pretend it was ok. "

"So I'm a bisexual man. I've been sexually assaulted 3 times. Didn't report any of them.
First time I was 18, got roofied at a party by a 50 something yr old man, taken back to his house and raped, then brought back to the party house and dumped on the porch. Didn't report bc I was still way in the closet and didn't want ppl to think I was "gay" + had no clue who the guy was.
"Second assault was by a woman. I was about 21. Both of us drunk, she wanted to fuck & I didnt. She waited til I was passed out then got me hard & jumped on. I woke up, told her to knock it off, was ignored. Just laid back and let it happen cause I didn't know what else to do. Didn't report bc at the time I didn't really think of it as rape.
"3rd time I was drunk at a bar. 2 guys followed me into bathroom & forced me to do oral on them. One of them pissed on me after. Didn't report because I know the cops in town would have just been all "this faggot is just mad they didn't give him head back". They don't care about gays.""

"Basically I was sexually assaulted in high school by my own bf; I was dating a very very popular guy, I'd moved school to be with him so all my "friends" were actually his friends only, there was no one I was close with and when it happened I didn't realise it was wrong, the whole relationship was honestly very toxic which I only realised way after it ended; I felt awful about it but he kind of turned it around and made me feel like it was my fault for not enjoying it, etc and not his! It was only a couple of years after that I realised I'd actually been raped and felt like it was useless reporting on something that had happened such a long time before and I hadn't told anyone about at the time!"

"I didn't report mine because I was 9 years old and I didn't understand what happened until I got older"

"I was sexually assaulted by my ex-girlfriend at the time in August of 2013. Although I was an emotional and mental wreck after I got back (she lives in TX, I'm in WI), I didn't realize the extent of what happened to me until recently - this past March. My current girlfriend (who's been amazing through all of this) mentioned something about consent in a show and that got me thinking. SO long story short, I didn't report my assault because I didn't realize I was assaulted. And my ex and I no longer speak - although she wondered why I unfriended her back in May. Because I should have done it sooner... "

"basically this boy in my science class at school (i was 15, he was 16) started being a total menace and saying really inappropriate/vulgar things to me in class and on the walk home (we live(d??) on the same road). one time after gym he ambushed me when it was dark near the entrance to my street and he didn't get to anywhere that would be considered rape, but he fkin tried. I was really shaken by it and my parents pushed to report it to the police, we had an officer come round and he basically said that it would be my word against his (the assaulter) and that, 'I didn't look like I would be able to deal with taking it to court'. as in I was young, small and delicate looking, it would be 'too traumatic' and not worth it really. He 'explained' to my parents how far the defence tends to go in in court and we decided to drop the case/not press charges as he suggested that sorting it trhough school would be much more effective, School basically reasoned it as 'he was going through a tough time bc his parents were getting divorced' and that boys will be boys and not to pay it much mind.

The worst thing is now knowing that if I'd've pressed charges he wouldn't've gone on to assault/rape two other girls and would've been put away potentially far earlier. :/ but hey."

"I never reported mine because it was from my boyfriend at the time, and I knew no one would believe me. I also would only say no a few times and then give in, so felt people would say I was essentially saying yes. Since leaving said boyfriend I have told a few people in confidence but other than that have just let it go- mainly because I feel I wouldn't be believed."

"Ok so I didn't report my sexual assault because, long story short, I was drunk at a party and went upstairs with a friend to go to sleep. Everyone assumed I led him on because I had a reputation so and we were really close so I didn't think people would believe me, and at the time I assumed because I was drunk it didn't matter and I didn't know any better"

"I didn't report mine because I was 15 and didn't want the whole school/community finding out - also it seemed like a lot more suffering to go through at the time."

"I didn't report mine because I was 17 and it was my boyfriend. I consented to sex and then he asked if we could do anal and i said no and he did it anyway. I was so in shock I didn't really realise what was happening and didn't really think it was rape because we were in the middle of what I'd consented to when he made it unconsensual... If that makes sense. We were at a friends house and he bragged about how we'd had sex and when I realised what happened I didn't think anyone would believe me due to the circumstances and cos I didn't speak out at the time. That was 9 years ago and I still don't think I could report it. Only a few friends know."

"I didn't report mine because I didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with it. I had just been released from a mental health facility after a suicide attempt that was triggered from an emotionally abusive relationship (which was a different person than who sexually assaulted me). I then was assaulted by a "friend" after a party. I was afraid if I told our mutual friends what he did, they wouldn't believe me. They liked him better than me and I wasn't emotionally stable enough to handle losing friends. The only person I told was my emotional abuser, who ignored my wish to let it go and told all my friends about it at a party months later without my consent."

"I didnt think what he did was illegal, I thought because I said yes in the end that it was my fault and I lacked the support from many close friends. I just wanted it to go away so I didnt say anything."

"I didn't report mine because he was my high school boyfriend and it was my first time and I had absolutely no concept of consent back then as I understand it today. I knew he had forced me into having sex when I didn't want to, but I didn't want to believe it was as bad as I felt it was. It wasn't until years later, with the help of a therapist, that I came to understand what had happened to me was rape. Unfortunately, that night so many years ago has had such an adverse effect on my sex life and I'm still trying to move past the trauma. I just wish that I had fully understood what happened to me when it did."

"There is seldom justice for sexual assault victims & it makes me sick. I was told that there wasn't much that could be done after my assault because I had stopped him & I could potentially end up being charged with assault for breaking his nose. There were 7 other people around who heard me tell him no when he put his hands on me throughout that night. no one spoke up. one of my friends was in the bed with me when i woke up with him on top of me taking off my pants. I was in shock & froze for awhile, thinking maybe i brought it on myself. At the time I had just started learning about rape culture & that's when it hit me. It wasn't my fault and I was mad. I kept thinking about every other person who had been in that position & had to feel this way. I screamed. I yelled "NO GET THE FUCK OFF ME" & then punched him hard, really fucking hard. He ran out of the house swearing with his nose dripping blood. Because I used to fight professionally, everyone said I overreacted & was just a violent person & I was so fucking lucky he wasn't pressing charges. I lost all of my friends. He has done it to three girls since that I know of. I was told that because there was alcohol involved, no semen & my "physical dominance over him" I was pretty much out of luck. Three other girls have been had to go through this after me. I know of at least one before myself as well. I went for 2 years after where I was repulsed by all sexual acts. I would freeze up & feel like I was going to puke. It makes me so angry knowing that he can carry on hurting all of these people because he's a "nice well liked guy" & "thats what happens when you drink""

"I didn't report my sexual assault because 1, I didn't feel like people would take it seriously. 2, because I was so young when it happened. 3, the offender was my age. 4, I was scared of him and the social backlash that would have happened."

"I was 17. I was at a party and I was very drunk. I was sexually assaulted by a man at that party. I never reported it because my friend told me that it wasn't his fault, that I'd led him on by kissing him, that he was drunk and I shouldn't be so uptight. I was 17. I was scared to tell my strict parents because I was at a party, drinking, and I felt they'd blame me. Why wouldn't they? My friend was blaming me. I blamed me. I was scared because I was convinced I would not have had any support on my side. I felt if I reported what happened, that they would believe the man who assaulted me and not believe me. I felt I would be blamed."

"I was also assaulted by my ex, I didn't report it because I loved his family so much and his mum wasn't doing very well at all (she has MS) so I didn't want to say anything. I told no one, the only person who knows now is my current boyfriend (of 2 years) because I had a panic attack in town when I saw my ex."

"I didn't report my sexual assault because the first friend I told told me I was stupid to put myself in a situation alone with a boy (who I considered a close friend) and told me I must have wanted it and did I even try to fight him off. I was so gutted at being doubted by a friend who I trusted I thought everyone would have the same view."

current favourites: beauty and lifestyle

So it's been a while, hasn't it? I've been putting my blog (and social media in general) on the backburner. I've been trying to work on improving my health, mental and physical. I've also been working a lot, and after scheduling tweets for some companies, the last thing I want to do sometimes is take care of my blog. I don't want it to feel like a chore, but I'm on an inspiration streak lately. I want to strive to create the best content I can, even if that takes me a little bit.

So, on to the favourites.

Beauty wise, I haven't been experimenting as much as I used to. I've been reaching for a lot of the same products, and have done a lot of destashing of my collection. Granted, it's still a huge collection, but it's more manageable now that I've destashed what I know I don't use. It's been a lot of highlight, warm shadows and liquid lipsticks.

Anastasia has been my go to for shadows and highlight recently. I've been using the Modern Renaissance palette like it's been going out of style. I've done basic looks with it, and I've done some dramatic looks with it. I absolutely adore it, and I can't wait to see what else Anastasia has up their sleeve. For highlight, I can't put that damn Gleam Glow Kit down. Crushed Pearl has become my favourite highlight of all time essentially, I can't stop using it.

Lipstick wise, I actually have some new loves that aren't liquid-to-matte. The Colourpop Ultra Satins were something I was very hestitant to try out for a little bit, but I couldn't resist Frick N Frack to save my little life. The formula is beautiful. For a non-liquid lip formula, the MatteX formula is to die for. Cami has been a go to on days where I don't want my lips to be super dry. The Jouer liquid creme lipsticks have quickly become such a favourite, it's a little ridiculous. Petale de Rose is such a stunner, and I can't wait to pick up more of these.

Face wise, Lush Magical Moringa has been my life for the hot summer months. I get incredibly oily, so this has been a lifesaver.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that Pokemon Go has been my life. I've been in love with Pokemon since I was a kid, and I started collecting cards again about two years ago. But when Pokemon Go launched, I was like a kid in a candy store. I AM SO IN LOVE. I know that people say the fad is dying down, but I'm like "more rare Pokes for me!".

Another game that has taken over my life is Katamari Forever, which has been out for a bit. I go through phases with this game. Now, I haven't been able to stop playing it. I have the app. I have the PS3 game. It's an addiction. I adore it. Kyle and I have to make ourselves watch Netflix so we stop playing it.

Finally, just because I've been blogging, doesn't mean I haven't been writing. I picked up a copy of 642 Things to Write About, and I adore it. I have weeks where I don't write at all, and I have weeks where I can't stop writing. I am so in love. It provides you with prompts, some long, some short, and some that can take up a quarter of a page. Some are hilarious, and some dig incredibly deep. I highly recommend this.